there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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