what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
