can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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