My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Floor bacon is actually really good
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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