I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize