i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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