Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
