what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
