do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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