i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
false alarm. still invincible.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
