we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
