Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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