So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
