I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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