you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Enjoy the penises
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize