We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
