i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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