from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
