We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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