Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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