Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
