i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
time to smoke my breakfast
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
