So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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