Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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