i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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