You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize