well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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