dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
