I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
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I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
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Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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