More tranny stories later!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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