I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
FUCK WHALES
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