I hate all girls vehemently.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Come share oat with me in your robe
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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