Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The Olympian is in my bed
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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