did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
