Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
