I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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