I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
