and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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