Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
