Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
