I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize