I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
