lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
