let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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