i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
