When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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