I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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