My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
