Say something about gay babies.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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