You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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