I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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