I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
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I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
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I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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