New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
