You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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