I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
