That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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