Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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