Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
