We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
