last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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